So drunk its hurt
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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