Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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