smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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