Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
