I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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