Someone shit on the floor
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
