and you said cock pushups were impossible
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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