I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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