Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
