Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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