Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Randomize
