Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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