i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
