I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
