11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
