I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
