so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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