exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
