Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
