piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My feet surprised me
Randomize
