Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
