I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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