Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
There are leaves in my underwear?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
