I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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