my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
