Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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