How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
