She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
