i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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