How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
