I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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