dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
