There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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