I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
