11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
