yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
