When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
