Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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