oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
