Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
