I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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