My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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