This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
