remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
is that a dick in a sweater?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
