I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
