i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
COCAINE IS GR8
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
