you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
