it was like his penis was on wheels.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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