Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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