umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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