Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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