The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
