did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
